pure joy...and cole too

Joy is 10 months old, and she has changed dramatically in the last two weeks. She is becoming a toddler, and I'm proud and sad at the same time. Tomorrow is Joy's 9-month check-up. We were in Wisconsin for her 9 month birthday and her and I have been sick twice since we got back, so this is our first opportunity to go for a well-baby visit. I'm looking forward to her new measurements.

Her balance is quickly improving and she can stand without holding on to anything for short spells. Joy is confident and careful, and she transitions smoothly from sitting to standing and back. She is so confident that she's very nonchalant about the whole thing. There's no "look ma, no hands" moments, her expression says "of course I can stand and just wait until you see me walk."

Her babble has changed too. Instead of repeating 1 sound over and over, she makes word-like sounds in her own little language, complete with hand gestures. Ya know, to really drive the point home. We've had some great conversations together.

I've been trying to teach her to use a sippy cup, and just in the last week she's taken interest. Today she was sipping away, while standing of course, but after closer inspection, she was gnawing on the spout and not really drinking much at all. It took 5 hours to drink a couple ounces, but that's still progress. I think she's beginning to wean, and I'm relieved that I'll be able to get fluids in her in another way. I have mixed feelings about that too, but that's okay.

Joy is fearless at meal times and has liked just about everything we've thrown her way. She's eating chunky stuff like a champ, and her favorites lately are string cheese, chicken nuggets, and whatever is on my plate. She refuses to be left out!

Cole is doing very well with the potty now, and he has worn big boy underpants a couple days this week. We made a trip to Target last night to pick out some more. I'm hoping I won't be buying any more pull-ups, with the exception of some for nighttime. He's really proud of himself, and he likes to show off with his "magic trick." He closes the lid on the potty before he flushes, then he waves his hands over the potty, and ta-dah, clean water! Tony and Cole had an argument the other night because Cole wanted to do his magic trick and Tony had no idea what he was talking about. They are too alike in that they are horrible listeners for each other.

Cole is on the waiting list for pre-school, but that is looking pretty unlikely. I bought some pre-school prep and summer bridge books, and we started our own "school" yesterday. I bought him some special pens just for schoolwork and we worked on a couple pages together. He really enjoyed the attention and I liked the quiet time too.

Cole still loves to help and I try to involve him in projects whenever I can. Last week we built a little patio (4 ft x 5 ft) to make a floor for his play log cabin in the backyard. We were out there for hours digging and leveling, and we both got some good exercise. Joy and Tony watched from the sliding doors, safe in the A/C. I took him to see Ratatouille that night to reward both of us for all the hardwork.

Cole has seen 3 movies this summer. His first movie ever was Shrek the Third. I took him after he kept his pull-up clean for a full day. Then Tony took him to see Surf's Up while we were in Wisconsin. He fell asleep at the end of that one, but Tony and his dad couldn't stop talking about it when they got back.

The summer is going by quickly and Joy's first birthday will be here too soon. I wish I had more quiet, special time with her and with Cole too, but I'm trying really hard to make the most of the moments we do have together. They are amazing little people.

time flies

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It's worth noting, I wrote this a month before I had a chance to post this. Is there any hope for me to blog on a regular basis again? Well, I'm still trying!
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Joy is now 6 months old and Cole is 3 1/2 years old. How did that happen? There are times when I look down at her smiling face, and I think I have Cole in my arms again. Joy, like her brother, is a happy, bubbly baby with an irresistible smile and a giggle so cute it’s infectious. She loves to pull my hair, to nap on Daddy, and to watch her brother. Joy’s starting to sit up on her own and desperately wants to crawl so before long she’ll be trying to keep up with Cole too.

At 5 months, Joy tried rice cereal, and now she’s eating 2 meals a day. In the beginning, she would “talk” her food off the spoon, making noises as she gobbled it up. Now that she’s gotten more coordinated, she waits until after each bite to make her happy sounds for her favorite foods. So far she’s had rice cereal, baby oatmeal, applesauce, bananas, and sweet potatoes. She prefers her applesauce mixed with her oatmeal, but beyond that she’s not too particular. Tomorrow, we’ll try something green for the first time—peas.

Despite starting solids, Joy still nurses about every 2 1/2 hours during the day. It can be exhausting, but it’s also a welcome break from my work which is far more tiring these days. She wakes once or twice at night for a diaper change and to nurse, but other than that she’s sleeping very well. During the day Joy only naps for a long stretch if she is being held which hasn’t been a problem because we’ve been able to coordinate a long nap for Joy with a nap for Cole…and sometimes a nap for either Tony or me too.

She is rolling around very well and is far more graceful than her brother was at this stage. Cole used to roll over with a thud even on our old living room floor which was carpeted with a plush area rug on top. Then again, Cole had a much larger noggin which made him top-heavy.

At her 6 month check-up, Joy was 13 lbs. 13 1/2 oz. (X%) and 25 inches long (X%). Cole was 14 lbs at 2 months old, so she is still a tiny thing to me. When we are out people regularly comment on how small she is, but the funny thing is that she fits perfectly in 6-9 month clothing.

Joy’s eyes are still blue, although a bit darker than they used to be. I never thought for a moment that I would have a blue-eyed child because Tony and I both have dark brown eyes. Cole had surprised us too with his light/medium brown hair, but it is getting a bit darker as he gets older.

Joy’s hair is getting thicker, but it is too thin to really get a sense of the color. I have a small hair clip I bought months ago, and for fun I put it on her hair sometimes while I’m changing her diaper. In the beginning, her hair barely made it through the clip. Her hair is considerably longer now, but not quite ready for a clip. I’m not a fan of the baby girl headbands because I think they look goofy and uncomfortable, but that could be a whole blog entry on its own.

Cole’s imagination and energy have exploded recently which is both comical and frustrating. When he watches too much TV, his excess energy gets him into trouble and his attention span is reduced to mere minutes. But with the TV off, we can play games, draw pictures on a big pad on the floor, make up songs for Joy and tell stories for hours. Cole loves to play outside and we’re both anxiously awaiting the real arrival of spring and warmer weather so we can do some projects outside (we had snow on Saturday!). The trouble has been when I’m working a lot there’s not much time to do fun things together and then he watches more TV than he should. I’m trying to come up with a better working schedule because it’s important for the well-being of our whole household.

Cole finally embraced potty training about a month ago which was when he decided that he was ready. We had first introduced the potty over a year ago, and while he was excited at first, his interest quickly faded. My mom had made him a little container of “potty pops” which was a jar of Dum-Dums that he could have as a reward each time he used the potty. About 3 months ago, he started going poop on the potty some of the time, but he always had started to go in his diaper first. He’s a smart kid and his interest in the potty was mostly a con to get a lollipop. I told him if we could “get all the poop in the potty” we would go out for a fun dinner and ice cream. “Get all the poop in the potty” quickly became a little song/chant around the house. Now if I can just come up with a song about peeing in the potty maybe we can graduate to the big boy underpants that are washed and ready in his dresser drawer.

I’ve heard it said that your children are the most fascinating people you will ever know, and I couldn’t agree more strongly with that statement. Cole and Joy surprise me every day, and I wish I could spend more of my time just playing with them. Honestly, if it means less sleep for me in order to have my days with the kids, it’s worth it. I love to see what interests them and the ways in which they are similar and different too. Their similarities allow me to remember Cole as a baby and their differences remind me that Joy has a lot to teach me too.

Cole has started picking up a lot of slang lately, and he uses most of it correctly. While I was helping him with the potty the other day he said, “You’re fired!”, and I said, “Oh no, are you going to get a new mommy?”. Cole replied, “No, you’re fired, so now you don’t have to work and you can be with me all the time.” I hugged him and thanked him for saying one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard at a time when I really needed to hear it.

Joy's birthday

Here at last is the tale of my labor with Joy...at least it's as much as I can remember at this point. The past 4 months have been such a blur. I want to get back into a rhythm of blogging and of life in general, but I feel like before I can take a step forward, I need to look back.

On Friday, September 22, I had my 39 week check up and I was 80% effaced, but still about 2 cm dilated. Dr. Santiago told me that if the baby would just drop down a bit more, gravity and pressure would help move things along and she suggested I do some walking. Well, I followed doctor's orders and then some.

Tony, Cole, and I went out for lunch at Red Robin after my appointment, and I spent the rest of the day walking and shopping. I walked from Red Robin to Target and then did some laps around the mall. I walked until I had blisters and my back was too achy to tolerate any more exercise. I think we were out and about for 5 or 6 hours.

My cousin Bobby and his girlfriend Danielle were supposed to watch Cole when it was time to go to the hospital, but they were going away for the weekend for a wedding in PA. My mom decided to come down from NJ just in case, and I thought if nothing else, she would be a good diversion and help us pass the time.

Mom arrived at 11:30 p.m. on Friday, and we all went to bed about an hour later. I was sleeping in Cole's bed. Cole was on the futon with my mom and Tony had our bed to himself. I had been sleeping in Cole's room for months because I was a restless sleeper due to being generally uncomfortable.

I woke up from my first contraction at about 2 a.m. It was strong enough to wake me, but not very long. I noted the time and watched the clock waiting to see if I would have another contraction soon. I fell asleep, but then I had another contraction 7 minutes later. Now I was definitely awake and I watched the clock and 7 minutes later I felt my third contraction. They were strong, steady, but not very painful, so I quietly laid in Cole's little bed timing them for 45 minutes.

We live an hour and a half away from the hospital where I planned to deliver, so after the 45 minutes, I called the doctor's office and left a message with the service. My favorite doctor, Dr. Patel, the one who had also delivered Cole was on duty. I was so happy to hear her voice, but also sorry I had woken her. She was seven months pregnant at the time.

It was time to go to the hospital, and as I went upstairs to wake up Tony, he came running down. When Dr. Patel had returned my page, the phone woke him up. I told him it was time and to get Cole's suitcase out of the car. We had brought our suitcases to the doctor appointment earlier that day, just in case. Tony got dressed, while I woke up my mom.

Mom didn't even believe me at first. Panic seemed to set in and she was trying to rush us out the door while I showed her where things are and the special things I had set aside for Cole--a cookie with a big "C" on it, treats and games in his suitcase.

We made it to the hospital without any trouble at all. It was about 4:30 am. The contractions were getting closer together, but I was still comfortable and able to breathe. I don't think we hit a single red light during the entire trip.

Once at the hospital, I got checked in and we walked to the labor and delivery floor. I still felt good and didn't need the wheelchair. When we got off the elevator the nurses laughed at me. They had heard someone was coming up from Culpeper in active labor, and they thought I would be screaming by the time I got there. I laughed too, but I really felt fine.

I had a wonderful young nurse named Lavinia who hooked me up to the monitors to watch my contractions and the baby's heart rate. She took my health history and finished all the paperwork during the required hour of monitoring. I was at 3 cm, and she hooked me up to an IV to pump fluids in me in advance to prepare for a possible epidural and told me I could do whatever I wanted for the next hour as long as I stayed on the labor floor.

I wanted to walk, so Tony pushed my IV stand while we strolled in circles around the labor floor. The pain was getting stronger now and sometimes I had to stop and hold the wall while I waited for a contraction to pass. After a half hour I told him I was tired and I wanted to rest in the glider in the room for a few minutes. I sat down and almost immediately I had the strongest contraction ever. My abdomen was clenched and came to a point in the center of body, then I felt the pressure release and a trickle.

Tony paged the nurse to say we thought my water had broken and Lavinia quickly put me back on the monitor to check things out. I was now at 5 cm. The contractions were getting stronger faster now, and I watched one plateau on the monitor. It was kicking my butt and I said that out loud. I said I thought this was the last one I could handle, and she called for the anesthesiologist.

When I had asked for an epidural with Cole, I had waited an hour for someone to see me. This time I asked for one earlier because I was prepared to wait, but he came right away which was a big surprise. I probably would have waited longer if I had known he would come so soon. BUT, I'm glad I didn't wait. The next few contractions were very strong and I had very little break in between and I was getting winded.

Within 15 minutes of receiving the epidural, I saw my contractions go crazy on the monitor. There was no break at all, and I was grateful to be numb. The nurse checked me again and I was at 9 cm. I had gotten the epidural at the perfect time. If I had waited, it would have been too late.

Tony called his parents and finally reached my mom to let everyone know we had gotten to the hospital safely and were doing well. We had called my mom earlier but she had been sleeping and didn't hear the phone. By now it was 9:30 a.m.

Lavinia left and a new nurse took over. I cannot remember her name at the moment, but she was a kind, earth mother type with long red hair. She was calm, supportive, and had a warm smile and laugh. Dr. Patel had joined the party along with another nurse who would serve as "baby catcher".

Dr. Patel said it was time to do a test push, and I couldn't believe how smoothly everything was going. I had waited all day with Cole to push, and now just a few hours later, my body was ready for delivery. My mind was still trying to accept that it was time.

One test push, and the nurses and doctor began to break down the bed. It was time to get to work. Dr. Patel gave me a pep talk and reminded me on how to push, breathe, and to make sure I stopped when she told me to.

My epidural affected me differently this time. With Cole, I could feel the contractions but they were dull, and I couldn't feel anything else below the waist. This time, I couldn't feel contractions at all, but when I started to push and the baby began to move down I felt everything. It scared me because I was afraid that I was tearing even worse than I had the first time. Dr. Patel told me to stop pushing and I said, "it hurts." She reassured me, "I know it does, honey, but you're almost there." I hoped she was right and I beared down again when I saw the next contraction on the monitor. I pushed 3 or 4 times with about 3 or 4 contractions, fifteen minutes total, and then she arrived. I felt the relief of her slipping out and held her squirming on my chest. I could not believe how perfect she looked. She wasn't screaming, just crying and squirming and looking around.

I watched the baby catcher clean her up and weigh her, and Dr. Patel told me that I had done very well, and I didn't tear at all. Everything was perfect...my new daughter, my labor, and the delivery.