Bow wow wow

When I was born, my great-grandfather bought me Bow Bow and I've had him ever since. His original nose was lost in a laundry accident that haunts me to this day, and his fur is worn thin. I have few memories of Little Pop-Pop. He passed away in 1983, but his mind was lost to us several years before. But I do know that as his first great grandchild I was special to him, and I do remember that there was always a kind tone in his voice for me. There are other vague memories--the cigarette burn holes in some of his favorite pants, his light blue recliner, the pride he took in his rose garden, trips to the horsetrack, fishing in Point Pleasant, and Pep-O-Mint lifesavers.

I picked up this new pup from Old Navy, and I think he makes a nice companion to old Bow Bow. Perhaps Bean can call him Bow wow wow.

more duckies!

In the beginning, I would purchase 1 or 2 duckie items for the Bean from Target's Carters collection after each doctor's appointment. It was a way for me to celebrate and slowly build my enthusiasm as I became more optimistic about the pregnancy.

Now that we've reached the point where other people have begun to give us gifts for the baby, I've been concerned that we'll end up with 20 of the same duckie outfit in 4 sizes, and it might be the only thing Bean ever wears. While I don't think that would be as psychologically scarring as Tony does, it would be odd.

Today, I received a package from my friend Kristen in Buffalo that contained not only my bridesmaid dress for her July wedding, but also some duckie gifts for the Bean. The outfits are adorable, unique, and larger sizes than currently exist in the Bean's wardrobe. So, we still haven't had any duplicates, and it seems safe to assume we will always have at least one duckie ensemble that will fit the Bean during his first year. Thanks Kris!

Kickin'

I've been feeling the Bean kick and punch, and something that seems like jumping jacks for a few weeks now. However, the movements haven't been strong enough for Tony to feel when he puts his hand on my belly.* There have been many false alarms where I grabbed him excitedly..."Can you feel that?"...but nothing else until Saturday.

While waiting for my grandparents to arrive for their surprise party, I was sitting on the couch when the Bean began to kick me in the arm. Usually I would feel 3 or 4 good kicks and then it would stop, but this time he was doing soccer drills on left side. I called Tony over and when he felt the first kick, his face lit up. Feeling movement is amazing, but it's so much better now that I can share it with Tony. It was the best early Father's Day gift.

Bean's soccer tournaments start each night when I go to bed like clockwork now. It's not painful, but the movements are definitely getting stronger...to the point where not only can they be felt on the outside of my belly...they can also be seen. It keeps getting wilder.

*Oddly enough, Kittenhead felt the Bean move on Friday when I collapsed on the bed for a nap after my 5th client meeting in a week. She curled up against my belly, and her ears perked up and she looked around the room when she felt the first kick. She knew I hadn't moved, but something was poking her. After about 3 kicks, she ignored it, and we both conked out until Tony got home from work.

coupon crazy

This weekend, I found something amazing in the paper--coupons for baby items we actually needed and had already decided to buy at Toys R Us/Babies R Us. After a full day of work and 2 client meetings, I headed out to the store coupons in hand. I picked up the travel play yard (formerly known as a playpen) and the breast pump (eek!), but they were already sold out of the stroller/car seat travel system. A clerk called the next nearest store in Manassas and they had 3 in stock, and they set one aside for me.

Next stop Manassas, but getting there during rush hour was no picnic, but I was on a mission so I didn't mind. While waiting for them to pull the travel system from the back warehouse, I discovered something wonderful and unexpected--a Sesame Street crib set. Tony and I had thought a Sesame Street or Muppets theme would be fun, but we hadn't seen any until now. And it still fits our duckie theme because Ernie is pictured holding his dear rubberduckie. It's funny too because Tony's always had an affinity for Ernie (and a striking resemblance), and now the Bean will be his duckie.

One more neat tie-in for the Sesame Street theme, is that we've pretty much decided on Henson as a middle name for the Bean, in tribute to the late, great Jim Henson.

All in all, I managed to save over $50 with my coupons which means the breast pump was free! It's a sure sign my life has changed when a free breast pump is exciting...

the cow goes moo

After the ultrasound on Wednesday, Tony and I celebrated with dinner at our favorite Greek/Italian restaurant and a trip to Babies R Us. On all previous "research trips" we left the store without making a purchase, but now we had a license to buy....and I admit to being more than a bit giddy.

We managed to restrict our purchases to the clothing department and picked out mostly the basics--onesies, sleep and plays, and other cutely named necessities. We both fell in love with this cow outfit (with matching blanket!), and it's a fitting tribute to Tony's Wisconsin heritage.

another look at Mr. Bean

Here's a helpful guide to reading the ultrasound.

the BIG ultrasound

Yesterday was the BIG ultrasound, the one everyone asks you about.

"Are you going to find out the gender?"

Our answer has been throughout, "If the tech can tell, sure we'd like to know, but if not, we won't be crushed."

Tony and I have both been so concerned about the general health of the baby and that was our main concern going in for the ultrasound. Tony was born with 3 holes in his heart and had a successful surgery to repair the defects when he was 10 years old. The doctors have told us that it is most likely not hereditary, but as a precaution in addition to the ultrasound we'll have a fetal echocardiogram done in the next 4-8 weeks.

The ultrasound was the standard fuzzy black and white type, and not one of the new 3D ones, but that did not reduce the awe factor one bit for us. At one point Tony and I said "Whoa" at the exact same time. It was when the tech moved the wand in such a way that we saw the entire side profile of the baby, displaying the skull, spine, and rib cage and the baby even moved to prove this was in fact real.

For me, seeing the movement was the best part because it assured me that the baby was happy and healthy and really, really there. My miscarriage messed with my head in so many ways, but the hardest part was thinking I had a little baby growing inside me, and when the ultrasound revealed nothing but growth that had arrested 2 weeks before, I felt betrayed and ashamed for being naively excited. So now, every reassurance I've been given, from the early ultrasounds, hearing the heartbeat, and now feeling movement are precious gifts of peace of mind and bursts of enthusiasm that I'd be otherwise too afraid to embrace.

Within minutes of beginning the ultrasound, the tech asked if we'd like to know the gender. We said yes, and he quickly announced we're having a baby boy. The ability to know the baby's gender before birth is still a relatively new option, and everyone seems to have an opinion about the right thing to do. I can honestly tell you that while I wouldn't have been upset if the baby was in the wrong position to be able to tell, learning the gender yesterday was wonderful. It gives you one more way of getting to know your baby just a little bit before he arrives.

The ultrasound went well overall. Everything was checking out, although the tech had some trouble looking at the heart. But since we'll have a special test just to view the heart, it wasn't a big concern. There was one more surprise for us though...the baby's measurements indicate that either I am about 1 1/2 - 2 weeks further along than was originally estimated or the baby is just big for 20 1/2 weeks. Since Tony and I are small people (only 3 apples high :-) I'm hoping I'm just further along.

20 weeks

My 20 week doctor appointment was surprisingly routine. Usually I get really nervous about 2 or 3 hours before hand, and this time I was doing fine...until I mentioned this was the first appointment when we had good weather. Every other appointment it was raining or snowing all day. Tony said he hoped it wasn't an omen, and wreck that I am, it freaked me out. I know, it's stupid and superstitious and all that, but when something is this important and fragile, it's hard not to overreact.

Once the good doctor came into the exam room I was fine. We heard the heartbeat right away. No chasing the baby around my abdomen this time, but it's getting a bit more crowded in there so there are fewer escape options. The cool part about the crowding is that I've begun to feel some of the baby's movements. Actually that started about 2 weeks ago, but I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was the baby or something else. The feeling was so subtle and not very frequent, so I could easily dismiss it as gas or other digestive rumblings. Now, there's no doubt. I feel the baby's more vigorous exercise sessions regularly in morning and at night. The movements aren't strong enough to be felt on the outside yet, but Tony keeps checking. I'm looking forward to that because it's amazing, and I want to share that with Tony.