the BIG ultrasound

Yesterday was the BIG ultrasound, the one everyone asks you about.

"Are you going to find out the gender?"

Our answer has been throughout, "If the tech can tell, sure we'd like to know, but if not, we won't be crushed."

Tony and I have both been so concerned about the general health of the baby and that was our main concern going in for the ultrasound. Tony was born with 3 holes in his heart and had a successful surgery to repair the defects when he was 10 years old. The doctors have told us that it is most likely not hereditary, but as a precaution in addition to the ultrasound we'll have a fetal echocardiogram done in the next 4-8 weeks.

The ultrasound was the standard fuzzy black and white type, and not one of the new 3D ones, but that did not reduce the awe factor one bit for us. At one point Tony and I said "Whoa" at the exact same time. It was when the tech moved the wand in such a way that we saw the entire side profile of the baby, displaying the skull, spine, and rib cage and the baby even moved to prove this was in fact real.

For me, seeing the movement was the best part because it assured me that the baby was happy and healthy and really, really there. My miscarriage messed with my head in so many ways, but the hardest part was thinking I had a little baby growing inside me, and when the ultrasound revealed nothing but growth that had arrested 2 weeks before, I felt betrayed and ashamed for being naively excited. So now, every reassurance I've been given, from the early ultrasounds, hearing the heartbeat, and now feeling movement are precious gifts of peace of mind and bursts of enthusiasm that I'd be otherwise too afraid to embrace.

Within minutes of beginning the ultrasound, the tech asked if we'd like to know the gender. We said yes, and he quickly announced we're having a baby boy. The ability to know the baby's gender before birth is still a relatively new option, and everyone seems to have an opinion about the right thing to do. I can honestly tell you that while I wouldn't have been upset if the baby was in the wrong position to be able to tell, learning the gender yesterday was wonderful. It gives you one more way of getting to know your baby just a little bit before he arrives.

The ultrasound went well overall. Everything was checking out, although the tech had some trouble looking at the heart. But since we'll have a special test just to view the heart, it wasn't a big concern. There was one more surprise for us though...the baby's measurements indicate that either I am about 1 1/2 - 2 weeks further along than was originally estimated or the baby is just big for 20 1/2 weeks. Since Tony and I are small people (only 3 apples high :-) I'm hoping I'm just further along.