6 months

Cole handled his first long car trip very well, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He is a wonderfully mellow and happy little guy. Most days he wakes up with a smile. How many adults do that? No matter how completely exhausted I might be, I can't help but return the smile. It instantly warms my heart. There are times when I start to get so bogged down in the daily grind, but the innocence and pure joy of Cole's smile reminds me of the true priorities. Not that I don't still have to pay the electric bill, do the laundry, layout a 12-page booklet, complete my quarterly tax reports, price airfare, cook dinner, and for heaven's sake, do something about my abdominals...but one smile gives me the energy to take on the day and tells me why I'm doing all of this in the first place. And at the end of the day, I always hold him a little longer than I need to get him to sleep, and I memorize his sweet baby angel face before I place him in his crib.

Everything has changed these six months. My sense of self, time, priorities, relationships,and the world have been drastically altered. My morning routine is stripped down to the singular action of brushing my teeth...ocassionally, I'll comb my hair. On a really good day, I'll shower before Tony gets home from work, but I've only done that a handful of times. My wardrobe is equally utilitarian, but I'm gradually becoming more inspired as I reclaim my body.

My time is broken up into 3 hour intervals--Cole's feeding schedule. He's so consistent you could set your watch by him. And while I may not know the date but I can tell you how many weeks old Cole is at any given time. The past 6 months have gone by so quickly and yet they are very clearly etched into my memory. Never in my life have I experienced a period of time when there have been so many significant moments. I don't want to forget a single one.

I struggled with my new priorities at first. My business had always been at the top of the list during the work week, and the first time I tackled a deadline and a crying baby at the same time was a defining moment for me. Initially I tried to do both at once, but then realized I wasn't doing either particularly well. Truthfully, I was doing a really crappy job at both. Once I got honest, it was clear. Cole needed me and that was more important than anything.

My relationships have changed as friends and family have gotten to see me in my new role. At times this is frustrating when I've felt like I've been unfairly criticized or still treated like a child. And at other times it's been so much fun. A favorite moment was introducing Cole to my youngest cousin Kevin who is a senior in high school. I babysat him and his older brother Bobby for years, and I remember both of them when they were Cole's age. Kevin quietly took it all in and intently watched Cole during Easter. He didn't want to hold him, but he couldn't take his eyes off him. I think we both realized how much we've grown up.

Tony and I rarely have much time for each other, but we make the most of the minutes, or seconds, we can manage. We're lucky if we even go to bed at the same time. Affection is now expressed with mundane domestic chores--cooking a favorite meal, vacuuming, or filling up the car with gas--proving it's no so much the gesture as the thought behind it.

Cole, my sweet baby boy, happy half-birthday. You've changed everything.

happy easter!

Cole caught my cold and found himself at the pediatrician's on Wednesday. He's recovering much more quickly than I did, but it's always so hard to see him sick. While I'm excited and entertained by his frequent baby babble, I'm glad he can't cry "Mommy" while I'm pulling the snot out of his little nose with the mean bulb aspirator. I'm also thankful that he cries so hard his eyes are closed while I'm doing the dirty work, so at least I can pretend that he doesn't know that I'm the awful person who is torturing him. I can scoop him up when I'm done to soothe him and save him from the evil nose-sucking lady.

He's nearly fully recovered, and we're getting ready for our trip to NJ. I don't like minivans at all, but I'm beginning to understand they're usefulness. Packing the car will be quite a task. Cole's big boy car seat now dominates the back seat. And because the new car seat doesn't have any sort of canopy, I put up glare protector film (dark brown saran wrap) on the side windows and a huge glare screen across the rear window, creating perpetual night in the backseat. No sunburns and squinty eyes for Bean...but he's gonna be one pale baby.

Safe travels to all you hitting the roads (and sky) this weekend!

as requested...

I've added some new photos to the last couple posts...as requested by a certain Hawaiian auntie. And here's one more...BONUS BEAN...my attempt at a hand-colored effect. Cole had just eaten his favorite food so far... sweet potatoes.

We'll be making our first long trip with Cole this weekend as we head to NJ for Easter. It will no doubt be an adventure for all of us and Cole will be greeted by many new faces. Figuring out what to pack will be my first challenge.

more furniture

This weekend I decided it was time to buy Cole's highchair. I've been feeding him in his bouncer and as he has gotten more enthusiastic about his solid feedings, the process has gotten messier. Plus, I've been trying to brace the bouncer with my legs to subdue his excited kicking and I've got some nasty bruises from the last few weeks. Picture if you can, me sitting on the floor, legs wrapped around the bouncer, one hand wrestling with his arms while my other hand holds the spoon. His food placed on the floor next to me along with a burp cloth and washcloth. It was time for the highchair.

Cole likes his new higher perspective, and I like that I can put a toy with a suction cup base on the tray to occupy his arms while I feed his little face. New this week--baby oatmeal.

5 months old

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Today Cole had a special photo shoot to commemorate the holiday and his 5-month birthday. This is Cole's first month without a check up, so there's no update on his height and weight this time...but his growth is obvious! I struggle to squeeze him into his carseat now, especially if he's wearing a few layers. We'll be installing the bigger carseats in our cars this weekend. It should be easier than when I installed his current car seat since I was nearly 9 months pregnant at the time. At least now I'll fit in the back seat.

This week, Cole's eating green beans and it looks like I've got a good veggie-eater on our hands. Although I've yet to find something Cole won't eat. At last week's yoga class, I asked the other moms if they've started solids with their babies, and no one else had. I was surprised because Cole is one of the youngest in the class. One mom said that she's worried about starting solids because she's not ready to stop nursing her daughter. It made sound strange to some, and even selfish, but I can totally understand how she's feeling. As difficult as it was in the beginning, I'm so glad I've been able to breastfeed Cole, and it's difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but I'll try. Initially, I enjoyed it because I was amazed by my body's ability to feed and to soothe Cole. I loved being able to comfort him and his drunken little smile when he was full. Now, I appreciate the convenience of nursing, but it's the coziness and the forced time-out (for me, not Cole) that I'll miss most when the time comes to wean. Of course, starting solids doesn't mean weaning, but it is an important step. I'm just glad that Cole is transitioning very well.

Cole rolls over all the time now, sometimes more than he wants to. It's almost as if he's forgotten that he can lie on his back. As soon as you put him on the floor or in his crib he rolls over. If he's not tired, then he's happy and he'll hold his head up and smile. But if he's too tired, then he cries into the floor or mattress until you flip him back over. He's beginning to understand that he can lie on his belly and turn his head to the side but when he's tired, he's beyond all reason. Hopefully, he'll figure out how to roll back onto his back soon.

Only 3 weeks left of yoga class, but I plan to take Cole out for more walks and play dates with Nina as the weather gets warmer. Last week we had lunch with Elaine and Nina which was a lot of fun for all of us. It's neat to see how the babies interact with each other and what they notice. In the beginning they were oblivious to one another, but now they're becoming more interested and curious. Cole even tried to put Nina's foot in his mouth, but baby girl gave him a look and grabbed her own foot and pulled it away. There are photos from the playdate, Nina's baptism, and Cole's official 5 month photo shoot here.

field trip

This was unveiled last fall, and I think it would be a lot of fun to take Cole to see it once spring has sprung. As the days get longer and temps climb, I'm getting antsy to spend some time outside. Last week, Cole and I did some laps around the apartment complex. I got a decent workout and Cole got a great nap. I can't wait to log some more miles on the stroller.

4 months plus

Cole is nearly 5 months old, but I'm just now posting his 4 month check up results. Cole is continuing along his self-made growth curve and his measurements were 17 lbs. 11 oz. and 25 1/8" tall. I've added a link to his 4 month photo album in the side bar.

It's been an eventful couple of weeks. Cole rolled over for the first time 2/23. He looked over at me, smiled, and then let out a huge burp. I don't know if the smile was in response to the fact that he had figured out how to roll over or if it was the relief from the gas bubble. I know my smile was due to both.

On 2/26, Cole discovered his feet. I never really understood the whole "Has he found his hands yet?" thing. It seemed to me like he was always aware of his hands even if he wasn't very coordinated in the beginning, but when he found his feet it was a noticeable event. While I was changing his diaper he was doing his usual leg lifts when he reached for and then grabbed on to his feet for the first time. He was so excited. So now his new combo move is to grab is feet and rock from side to side.

Cole has begun to eat solid, well semi-solid, food. For 2 weeks he taste tested rice cereal once a day. Last week we added a second feeding of solids and introduced carrots. While he prefers the cereal over the carrots, he will eat either. Cole lets me know when he is full by keeping his mouth closed--an effective signal. This week's menu is sweet potatoes.

Cole is enjoying his bath time more and more which means I keep getting wetter. What had started out as a little kicking in the water has turned into all out splashing. Bath time requires a lot more towels than it used to.

Cole laughs a lot now and it is absolutely my favorite sound ever. NOTHING beats it. Tony and I have been transformed into clowns, doing ANYTHING we can to amuse Cole just to hear him giggle. I get my exercise doing "baby lifts" and he's also fond of "baby squats"--pretty much any vertical movement cracks him up. If only I could figure out a way for sit ups to be funny, then maybe I'd actually get my middle back in shape.