i am so tired BUT

I could title every entry this way from now on. The most important word in that phrase is "BUT." I am tired, and my life is dramatically different, BUT the many roles I play besides mom must go on, and in reality, very few people really care that much if I'm tired, and it's not all that important. Ok, I know there are some people will take offense to that, and I don't mean it in a harsh or whiny way, so please don't add a false tone to that statement.

When I was still dealing with the palsy I was under the care of a great neurologist, one of the nicest doctors I've ever met. As I was leaving his office after he had stuck needles in my face to test nerves and muscles, we were talking about our plans for Thanksgiving. I told him about Cole's christening that was coming up and the celebration I had planned. Then he shared that his family was going to spend the holiday with close friends, one of whom was dying. I told him I was sorry to hear about his friend and how hard that must be to cope with especially during the holiday season, and he responded with calm and warmth, "This is life. Babies are baptized, people die, and life must go on." Such a simple statement, but I'm certain it's a way of looking at life that's been shaped by treating people with far more serious afflictions than Bell's palsy.

Life must go on. My lack of sleep means nothing to my clients or the IRS or telemarketers or to other drivers on the road. Work has to get done, the bills paid, the laundry washed, and the plants watered. I've come to realize that freshman year of college prepared me best for motherhood. Late nights in the computer lab are now late nights in my office. I learned to stretch my wardrobe in ways to minimize my laundry. Working on multiple projects prepared me for the many jobs I now juggle at once. Entertaining Cole on a daily basis requires as much creativity as any drawing assignment. There is one crucial difference though ... I'm now doing all of this without the benefit of caffeine.

I have much more to post. Cole continues to amaze me and is growing and changing right before my eyes. Cole's namesake, my freshman drawing professor taught me to appreciate the simple beauty of line, and I've recently picked up the old ebony pencil and sketchbook, and I want to post the results. I have so much more to share, but now it's finally time to sleep.