childbirth class: part one

Today was part one of our 5-hour a day marathon childbirth classes. Compared to the option of attending an hour long evening class twice a week for six weeks, the one weekend course sounded a lot more appealing.

So far class has been worthwhile. Tony has said he learned a lot and was totally amazed by the natural abilities of the female body. The instructor reminded us both of Cheri OTeri, but we were grateful for her over-the-top enthusiasm by the time we rolled into the third hour.

Here's what I've learned:

1. My stomach is finally flat! Well, the stomach organ is, not my belly. Among the visual aids was a diagram that showed how all the vital organs in the torso are rearranged and compressed to make room for the growing baby, and up at the top, flat as a pancake was the stomach. It definitely explains the 24-hour acid reflux.

2. Every woman at some point in her labor, says she can't do it any longer. It doesn't seem to matter who you are, a first time mother or a labor and delivery nurse having her third child, everyone gets pushed to their breaking point and tries (uselessly) to throw in the towel. The "scary movie" showed 3 births with 3 different pain management approaches, and every woman announced she couldn't do it anymore. I've only watched 2 episodes of Baby Story on DHC, and I noticed the same thing there. It's kind of scary to think I'll be brought to the brink of giving up.

3. Prenatal yoga is awesome. All of the breathing exercises and laboring positions were similar in some way to what I have already been doing since April in yoga class. So, everything felt very comfortable and second-nature, even though taken out of context, it can look pretty silly. When the instructor told us to get down on all fours, most of the women in the class thought she was nuts, but I was quick to comply. From yoga, I already knew that the position takes the weight of the baby off your spine and enables you to stretch and release tension in your back easily...it just feels good. Even better was the fact that Tony is familiar with some of the yoga positions and breathing techniques, and he immediately recognized that the yoga was going to be a big help for us.

4. I'm damn lucky. The most disappointing part of class was the presence of a few fathers who made it clear they did not want to be there and have no interest at all in the pregnancy or labor and delivery. One complained about how much the class was costing him, and another refused to participate. We had the misfortune of sitting near 2 of them. Macho, ignorant, sad excuses for men, they were annoying and obnoxious, and while I felt bad for their wives, I feel even worse for their future kids. One can only hope that once they are presented with the miracle of birth before their eyes, that their hearts will grow much like the Grinch's did in that happy ending.